i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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