I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
