i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
