he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
