HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
