i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
