your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
