YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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