We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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