There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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