You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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