Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
