I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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