Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
