She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
