So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
