do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
