You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
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