Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she pinky promised me she was 18
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize