where am i from again
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize