How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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