im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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