I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
