i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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