You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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