a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
