I've blown a few things in my day
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
