walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
