I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
