so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
