there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
