Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
this just has baby written all over it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
