bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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