I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
