I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
