Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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