I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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