What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize