forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's blow job season.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
