What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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