She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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