If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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