you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
