i barfeds in our rink
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
