That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
