I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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