I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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