We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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