Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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