So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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