Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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