my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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