I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
