It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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