I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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