I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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