So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
