she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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