Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
