WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
