She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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