pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
