the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
