Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
