I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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