why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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