He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize