About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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