she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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