I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
