yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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