I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
